Today I had honor to welcome Kali as my inner woman. Her energy - my inner goddess within, came to me. She seems crazy. Nothing can stop her. She will defend, destroy and even "kill" everything what is on the way to liberation, healing, love...
That's why I loved that's tonight spontaneously, she become part of me. It just happened. Personally, I'm far from worshipping any god/goddess outside.For me it's more about feeling manifestation of particular energy within.
Deep healing happened:
I went through some of relationships, especially those, where I failed. It felt like being back in the same moment and feeling the situation again but this time with awakened consciousness, aware what I'm doing wrong, feeling compassion, pain of the woman and my own... feeling, going through dark energy, shame, and guild like during the time when I did it. Then feeling deeply sorry, sometimes crying, asking for forgiveness and sending empowering energy to the person who I did hurt in the past. For some of those, who I still have contact, some solutions came. I decided to do them as soon as possible.
After confronting one, she was bringing me the memory of the next.
- "Do you remember her... don't ran away from what you did and what was done to you. Go through it again. Feel it and remember it. I don't have to tell you that I'm chopping the heads of the men, who are doing it again ?" she asked me by putting quickly the sward on my neck
My inner man, who this time happened to be strong native amazon Indian, he answered calmly but strongly looking in to her eyes:
- "I'm not afraid of you. You will do what I deserved. Living with that awareness and allowing the wrong things happen, would be any way like living in a hell here and now"
... then memory came stronger and stronger...
Afterwords within my inner woman, Kali and my inner Indian man, I felt physically, verbally, psychically, energetically, spiritually and on any other level not only strongly to empower the woman but also to educate the man to respect the woman. I intended as my life mission to empower the women, to heal her, to liberate her, to protect her and to worship her as I worship goddess Kali within me, as equal part of me and equal polarity in universal energy. I intended as my life mission, to educate the men, to allow himself for the female power around him and to support this process as in as out.
... After the healing, my inner Indian and inner Kali made beautiful love with all energies within... In Hindu stories Shiva is surrendering Kali, who is stepping on his chest... This is is not for my inner man... he likes to feel equal, so this, he may allow only as temporary playing role... She like that. She already made me stronger. Through the healing, she already made me more powerful. She like me to become that way. Our mission is save the planet, humanity from dominant male unbalance. She made me understanding and feel that first, that I always have to conquer it in myself. She doesn't wanna another head on her necklace. She doesn't need someone surrendering under her feet and I as well would never allow it. It doesn't work and it doesn't feel good to me.
We have to liberate ourselves from patriarchat but matriarchat is just another polarity. Its time for partnerchiat. Something new. Did it happen before?Its time to evolve .It's time to unite and use our full potential.
When we are together, we may face destruction of the planet, world hunger, human abuse, suffering of the animals...
I'm activists since more than 20 years. Since 3 years I'm spreading liberation, deconditioning, sacred sexuality, tantra and love. This is my main and most efficient way of improving my self, humanity and the world.
I'm aware that the times when we are living, needs strong energy of Kali. To kill, to destroy and to finish all male wars, competitions, destruction of humanity and the planet (already year ago I wrote the text about it: http://tantramovement.blogspot.dk/2014/01/is-tantra-and-rainbow-gathering_18.html )
I'm aware that the times when we are living, needs strong energy of Kali. To kill, to destroy and to finish all male wars, competitions, destruction of humanity and the planet (already year ago I wrote the text about it: http://tantramovement.blogspot.dk/2014/01/is-tantra-and-rainbow-gathering_18.html )
That was the experience of healing of my self and my relationship. That was the experience of merging with Kali and Indian energy of my inner woman and man. That was setting up the intention to empowering the woman and the man through my teachings, massaging, activism and everything what I do. This is also for my self to show my manifestation and readiness for the woman, who will allow me to awaken her Kali energy and who would love me for that I'm.
Thank you Diana, Martin, Cyprian and all the rest who supported me through this process during this weekend <3
Love, light and darkness ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment